An off key note of insanity


Yeah, done that. 6 days a week 3 hours a day. Push the gym door, walk in and all sounds went muffled. The way to screw yourself without anybody else’s help.

It was a religious fucking experience – to know that I can just step up to the bar and lift it. Nothing in my head. Nothing existed. I saw no people, no sounds, no movement. Just me and the weights. Absolute bliss. So I did it for hours.

Got up to 296 body weight. Fucking 7-9000 calories a day added 50 lbs in 3 months and keep you going to the gym every day. 8 cans of tuna for breakfast and so on. Stuff my face every 2 hours.  And protein shakes in-between.  I could not tie my shoes – I was always so full. A real beast…

I woke up one fresh Saturday morning and my first thought was “I’m doing it today.”. Very calm and peaceful thought. To commit suicide. Half an hour before my next 3 hour bliss in the gym. How gymrat poetic..

If you are so dumb to let yourself go down like that you deserve it. And no, there won’t be any great progress from that – just mediocre results that seem great in your head. Who the fuck cares that I did 90 lb. dumbel flies stretching almost to the fucking floor for 60 reps? And about 120 sets of all kinds of exercises every day. Not a fucking soul. And for a good reason. It means fucking nothing.

So good luck with internet fucktard quotes slapped on the background of a pimply roid back.

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